Love Hurts too:

i'm begging you to stay.
you know i need you to live... to breathe.
what else can i do when i wanna die?
that's why i come to see you.
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when i'm about to grab my blade,
that's when i wanna see you the most.
that's why i always come to you.
in the beginning and in the end.
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always promise me that you won't leave me.
i'd cry for days, maybe years...
i wouldn't be able to take it...
you know i can't live for more than a day without you.
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show me that she doesn't mean anything to you...
because it looks to me like you're cheating...
please tell me that it's not the truth.
i'm dying out on the inside...
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you know that without you, the world is cruel to me...
and you know that i'll miss you like hell if you leave.
stay with me so i can breathe instead of bleed.
and tell me you love me just one more time...
　
　
　
LOST LOVE:
my heart pounds as i pick up my blade...
i reach for my sleeve and roll it up...
knowing what will happen if i do...
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i watch as the lights turn out behind me.
and i watch as the notebook from my backpack flies into my hands.
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i open it up and there's a note from my dearly beloved in it.
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i read the note as if i don't really care anymore...
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"please stay with me, you know i can't live without you... don't make this hard on us."
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i cried for what seemed like days after looking it over...
and i looked beyond what the note said and i thought about you...
what would happen if you were alone.
and what would happen if you were alone without me there to be yours...
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then i realised that my life was all a lie...
i looked at my rolled up sleeve and then at my cold metal blade in my hand...
and i looked all around in the darkness surrounding me in solitude...
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i took one last breath before i opened up my notebook...
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the note you left me was written in red ink on my paper...
it looked like blood in the darkness but i couldn't tell the difference...
they both look the same to me.
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anyway...
i took out the black ink pen i had in my dresser drawer and started to write a note to you...
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"my love, don't think anything different of me... but, i'm no longer going to be with you in a sense of life itself..."
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then you called my cellphone and i picked it up...
"hello?... who is this?..."
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you said, " don't act like you don't know who this fucking is!..."
and i said, " why can't i be myself anymore?... what is this society coming to?..."
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it took you a few minutes to come up with an answer...
it was a shitty answer but it was still an answer...
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you said, " you are becoming just what i thought you would become!"
i said, " what did i become justin?..."
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you answered me with, " you became a selfish jackass!"
and i just sat there and wanted to cry so badly...
but i know that crying over you would be a sign of weakness.
so i just sat there and bit my lip...
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when you said, " i wish you would just be normal instead of this emo shit..."
i wanted to just slash my wrists then and there...
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then i answered you with, " you think i want to be this way!?... oh hell no! if i could do this all over again don't you think i would?..."
and you said, " i don't know because i'm not as fucked up as you!... i'm leaving now and for good!."
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and you hung up the phone...
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i just sat there in the dark for hours...
thinking about what you just said to me...
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i looked at my clock, it said it was about 12 mid day...
so i just sat there in the corner of my room...
waiting for something that would never come...
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then i looked down from my ipod long enough to see that i was still holding my blade...
and i looked as my sleeve was already rolled up...
i knew what i wanted to do...
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i wanted to end it all then and there but...
i won't die on you're account...
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don't worry about me because i'll be in a better place someday...
without you...
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someday, i won't have to cry anymore...
because of you... i don't have anymore tears left to cry...
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i then took my blade and felt the cold metal dig down deep into my skin...
and i watched as the blood trickled down my arm and down to my rolled up sleeve...
then i think to myself, the lie isn't quite over yet...
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and finally i decide to slash up everything i had left...
i burned down every memory i had of you or anything that could've hurt me in any way...
and i watched as they were eaten by the flames of my despairs...
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i watched as i washed off the blood from my cuts...
now that they are cleaned off, i can see clearly how deep the cuts went...
and i saw that this time, i might have went too far...
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i still didn't care very much about myself or you...
so i hope you have fun in hell...
because by the time you get there, i'll be raising it like my child...